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My Sister Chomie Weiss of Blessed Memory

Transcript of Remarks delivered by Devorah Leah Levertov
to 500 women gathered in Antwerp Sunday, February 4, 2018

Standing here, the day we got up from shiva, mourning our beloved sister, I represent my family in sharing our thoughts and feelings about our sister Chomie and about you-her community

The pain is raw and intense and it is hard to speak, but I will try my best.

Chomie grew up in a large, lively family of ten. I would like to acknowledge my mother and our sisters sitting here. She was the seventh of 10 children, Chomie was always the good one. Like her son Shmuli says “She was a goody-goody who married a troublemaker,  and got me, a mix!”

Chomie had the zechus of growing up in Crown Heights Brooklyn, with the presence and influence of our Rebbe permeating every part of her life.

She went to a school that lived and breathed Chassidut, and the Chabad ideals and values of Ahavat Yisroel, love of every single Jew yiddisher neshama.

Chomie internalized this concept, breathed it in and lived with it: Yes, she was one of those Chabadniks who stopped people in the streets during school breaks and special days that asked “Excuse me, are you Jewish? Would you like some Shabbat candles for Shabbat?” Yes, she was one of those…

In school, at camp she was the sunshine, the smiley, happy and uncomplicated one.

Her smile lit up the room. Those of you who know her children Chana and Rivka with their smiles, Chomie had that same smile.

Chomie would come visit us in Santa Fe before she got married. She loved the Chabad House type life. She loved the programs, the visitors and the big dinners of a Beit Chabad and she took the Rebbe’s directive of turning every single home into a Beit Chabad, a place where every yiddisher neshama is embraced and welcomed. We all try to do this, but, as her daughter Chana says “My mommy was always smiling.” Chomie did it with a beautiful smile!

Then she married Yossi, the exotic European, red-head and together their energy and drive fused into a beautiful force.

She brought her special qualities, her idealistic Chabad outlook, her warmth and love, her shining smile to Antwerp, and this community was never the same again!

Chomie had a special koach. Once when she was about three years old and walking on Shabbat with our mother and older sister, she suddenly, like all good toddlers, decided she is not walking anymore. And, unlike here in Antwerp, we had no eruv in New York. Nothing would get her to move. Suddenly they saw the Rebbe walking towards them on the way home from 770 [Chabad Headquarters] and she still would not move. My mother and sister moved aside and the Rebbe bent down and whispered something in her ear, and she just got up and walked!

She kept on walking her whole life. We don’t know what the Rebbe said, but she never stopped walking

Now, her son Dovid claims, that he knows what the Rebbe told her. The Rebbe told her, you will have an amazingly special son named Dovid ….

When she moved here, all she wanted to know was, “What can I do here? How can I be helpful?” She loved this local Beit Chabad in Antwerp. Was so proud of the beautiful new building and the Kidush Hashem it was. She loved being involved in the [other] Beit Chabad in Peter Codem Berg Laanrun run by  the Hertz family.

As you may know, the Rebbe would give out dollars to be given to charity for many hours at a time every Sunday. The story is told that he was asked by a woman who was exhausted from standing on line, “How can you do this, is it not too much?” The Rebbe answered, “when you count diamonds you don’t get tired.”

Here in Antwerp, in the city of diamonds, Chomie together with Yossi lived this message. They both were polishing diamonds. They brought out the shine and inner luster of each yid they met. From her friends, neighbors, acquaintances and strangers. Everyone who came into contact with her was inspired, everybody was touched.

I had spent time in New York with her for a simcha a few years back and remember how she was returning home on Friday morning and planning to cook and prepare for her usual huge Shabbat dinners. She came home so exhausted and said, I think I will lie down for an hour, rest and then start cooking. She opened her bedroom door and found a stranger having a nice sleep there. As she turned around to look for a different bed to lie down in, she was told by Yossi “Oh yes, he needed to lie down and rest, it was the only available spot. . .  “

That was just a glimpse of their selflessness . . .

Last Shabbat, only ten hours before her soul went back up, she asked to bring Shabbos in early, she wanted more of it on her last Shabbos here. It was  11th of  Shevat, the day of our bubby Chana Schapiro’s birthday

Chomie embodied lots of the same qualities that bubby Chana had, her regal bearing, her non-judgmental and calm ways and acceptance of everyone.

11th of Shevat amongst Chassidim is a very special day, the day the Rebbe accepted leadership. He did not want to and as the story goes it was his Rebbetzin, Chaya Mushka whose yartzeit we are are marking this week, that urged him to accept.

She said “How can you watch the Chassidim without a leader. How can you not make sure this all continues? All the efforts that all the Rabbeim invested cannot be in vain, how can you let it end now?”

The Rebbetzin knew what she was getting into, she had seen her father sent to prison for doing the same things she was urging her to do and seen what his life was like with constant farbrengens and counseling Chassidim and the continuity of klal yisroel on his shoulders. And yet, she still urged her husband to do this, knowing her life will be affected forever.

Two weeks ago Chomie won the raffle to fly to New York and represent the Antwerp community for the Rebbetzin’s 30th yartziet. This Tuesday Im Yirtzeh Hashem her precious daughter Tzirel will be flying in her stead to represent you all. How befitting that Tzirel who was imbued with her mother’s kindness and went out of her way to make all us siblings feel at home during the last few weeks, will be the one to take her place.

We see the power of the tears of a yiddisher mama with Rochel Imainu. When Bnei Yisroel went into exile, all the Avos came and begged G‑d to free the Jews from galus and bring the redemption. Avraham Avinu said, “I jumped into the fire and I brought my son to the Akeida.” Yitzhok Avinu said, “I stuck my neck out for the Akeida.” Yaakov Avinu, Moshe Rabeinu, they all begged.

Nothing swayed G‑d.

But then Rachel our mother said “I gave my secrets to my sister, she married the husband I was supposed to marry, for this I want my children to be saved.”

I had self-sacrifice and was willing to live without him my whole life, you now need to give up what your plan and save my children.” And the Eibishter said, “Ok, this I cannot ignore, I will listen to Rochel and bring the redemption.”

Hashem hears a mother’s cry. A woman that was ready to live with self-sacrifice every day, watching her sister with the husband she was supposed to have. It was not a one-time mesiras nefesh, but would be ongoing, daily.

Chomie lived her ideals always, daily. Every single week she prepared for an unknown multitude of people. She never knew how many would show up and what to expect from the crowd that came. She kept at it week after week, holiday after holiday and in between, she never took a break. Her home was always open to anyone who needed a place to stay, eat or just talk or anything else.

The Weiss home was the lighthouse here, the light that shined in the whole city

I know Hashem is hearing Chomie’s cries for her children, for her family and for her community and the Yiddishe Neshamas that she felt so responsible for. She will watch over her children and make sure they will continue growing in her footsteps blossoming into Chassidim , balei midos tovos and balei chesed and they will continue her legacy of making this world into a better place.

Her son Mendel, who gave her so much nachas, would say, He was so close to his mother that in conversation he was able to finish her sentences and she would need to remind herself that she was still his mother not just his best friend.  

Her love and dedication to her kinderlach will always be there and she is continuing to look out for them, for her extended family and friends. Chomie knew everyone’s hardships and challenges. You will all see, she will start making things  happen here. Shiduchim, parnasa she will take care of us from up there, like she did down here.

Just a few hours ago, as our family stood up from Shiva and was having a meal together, we asked Chomie to manifest berachos and yeshuos, blessing and help. Our sister conveyed that Chomie would demand a shiduch for our niece who is waiting for her bashert. A few minutes later, this niece texted her mother from New York, in middle of the night, these words:

And I quote “Just had a petrifying dream about Chomie, I woke up shaking, can’t sleep, she told us, that she asking Hashem to find me a shiduch.”

Chomie may you be a gute better for us all down here.

Just this week we heard of women who have used the mikva for the first time in the zchus of Chomie; of women who have lit and will continue to light Shabbos candles in the zchus of Chomie; of men who have put on Teffilin in the zchus of Chomie; oh how she is smiling down and shepping nachas from this!

There’s a young man, a special yiddishe neshama who comes around to Chomie and Yossi’s Shabbat table. He was dating a non-Jewish girl and knew this did not sit so well with Chomie.

On Thursday evening of this week, he sat near Yossi for a good while and drank in the powerful words Yossi was expressing. He quietly walked out, took a break and when he came back in he turned to Yossi and said, “I want you to know, that just now, I broke off with my girlfriend in the zechus of Chomie. Sitting in your home, in Chomie’s home, I understood what I need to do!” This is the best testament to what Chomie together with Yossi stood for. This young man, who was a little lost for a while, got it, he internalized their message and is living with it!

I ask you today, to turn this tremendous loss into an opportunity. We can each take upon ourselves to continue to spread the light that was Chomie, and the lighthouse that is the Weiss home, and bring it all to our own homes, and continue lighting the neshama of every single Jew that we have the opportunity to touch.

As a legacy to Chomie’s legendary hospitality and good deeds, let us pledge here and now to do the same. We all can turn our homes, our personal spaces into a mini Beit Chabad and reach out and embrace another yid and spread the light of yiddishkeit like Chomie did. We don’t need to invite 75 people at a time, but we certainly can invite one or two at a time.

A chunk of ourselves has been taken and we will never be the same. She will be terribly missed. Each of us has been changed. But we can continue to spread her light the way she would have wanted us to. We could and we will.

On behalf of my family, I would like to end by expressing our deep Hakaras Hatov for the overwhelming outpouring of love, friendship and support our family received from all of you. What you have all done for Yossi and Chomie and their precious children has enabled them to function and we know it will continue to guide them through this heartbreaking and tragic time.

We thank you for your help with the big and the small. The easy and the hard. You, her sisters, friends, neighbors. Too many to mention by name. The different organizations. The Chai lifeline team, that came in and quietly arranged and took care of everything. Your love and embrace and professionalism, made this all more bearable.

Chomie’s chapter in Tehillim , Psalm 41, begins with the words “Laminatzeach mizmar ldovid, Ashrei maskil el dul.” To understand a person in need. To understand and feel for one in need changes the way we can help them. This community embodied those words.

We leave heartbroken, but we all know for certain that you, her Antwerp family will never let her family fall. We know, from seeing you in action, that you will always be there for them. Chomie shared with me some of the messages she got from you all. Her WhatsApp messages and voice notes. She would forward them and say, “Do you believe this? How amazing are these people? How beautiful are their words?” I would listen to them and cry. Every token of love and support she got from you all, she cherished and held dear and it certainly helped her push through her pain.

Thank you all of you.

May we be reunited with Chomie with the coming of Moshiach now.